Family constellations

We all live in human systems such as our family, our work, the association we belong to, the school and training courses we follow, our circle of friends, etc. The rules and also unconscious laws in such systems are often complicated. It is becoming increasingly clear that many organisational and personal problems have a systemic cause. We are raised in systems and are assigned a place in them or take one. The dynamics make it possible to work on a deep and unconscious level, lovingly and with respect for all members of the system. An entanglement is a complication in a system that has a hindering effect. Making an entanglement visible makes it possible to change it. The place in the system is essential. Members of a system have a place, but this place is not always the right one. Finding and taking your own rightful place changes old inhibiting patterns, makes it possible to remove entanglements and enables you to take your place in life. Many of our unconscious beliefs, behaviours and patterns originate in the systems (family of origin) in which we grew up. We have adopted reinforcing and limiting patterns, often out of loyalty. These (limiting) patterns often reappear in your current life within new systems, for example in your relationship or your work. Family constellations can make these unconscious patterns visible again. A constellation of the family system reveals how someone is unconsciously bound to their family system and to others with whom they share their fate. Bert Hellinger discovered that three basic principles operate in systems. These three basic principles are:

• Binding: everyone has the right to a place in the system
• Order: all places are ranked in relation to each other
• Balance: giving and taking should be in proportionate balance

The common thread in the family system is the connection with the system of origin. This connection is the bond with parents, grandparents and even further back. If, for whatever reason, one of the basic principles within the family system or in the context of work is disrupted, dynamics arise. Based on these dynamics, a new balance within the system is sought, allowing the current situation to continue.

Examples of dynamics include:

I'm doing it for you

• Carrying something for someone else
• Protect someone
• Putting yourself above others
• Following someone who has been locked out or is not recognised within the system

These dynamics give rise to symptoms that we encounter in our daily lives. These can manifest themselves in various ways: fears, insecurity, exaggerated behaviour, relationship problems or vague physical complaints. You may encounter these symptoms on a daily basis in various contexts, such as relationships, sports, work, friends, family, etc. The underlying dynamics are revealed through the symptoms with the help of a constellation. The image that a constellation reveals and the energetic effect within that field allow the system to relax. Once the system is back in line with the basic principles (laws), the energy starts flowing again and the desired change can be implemented.

Method

Over time, every family constellation facilitator develops their own style. In our approach and vision, we leave as much as possible to the system and allow plenty of room for the representative's input. As facilitators, we “feel into” the situation and mainly use what you might call our intuition. In a constellation, there is of course no obligation to do or not do anything; it is a form in which you are allowed to feel what the constellation does to you and how you want to relate to it. The constellations are facilitated by Ben and Wilma ter Horst; you can choose.