IFS Internal Family Systems – Holistic Centre Brabant

What is the origin of IFS (Internal Family Systems)?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) was developed in the 1980s by the American psychotherapist Dr Richard C. Schwartz.

Schwartz was trained as a systemic therapist and worked with families. He observed that the behaviour of one family member could often be understood as a reaction to the dynamics of the family as a whole.

Findings amongst clients (with eating disorders): Whilst working with clients who had died or were struggling with eating disorders and bulimia, he noticed that during therapy sessions they often spoke about themselves as if they were made up of different “voices” or parts (e.g. “one part wants to eat, but another part forbids it”).

A departure from traditional views: Instead of pathologising these voices or viewing them as symptoms of a disorder (such as multiple personality disorder), Schwartz began to listen to them as if they were real, helpful family members with good intentions.

Integration of systems and multiplicity: He combined the principles of systemic therapy (family dynamics) with the concept of a ‘multiplo-mind’ (multiplicity of mind). This led to the realisation that the human psyche functions like an inner family.

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Which roles or parts are then distinguished?

Managers (Proactive protectors)

Managers run the day-to-day show. Their aim is to keep you safe and maintain control so that you are never hurt or rejected again. They are proactive and try to prevent pain prevent.

The Critic: Criticise yourself before anyone else can.

The Pleaser: Puts themselves last in order to maintain harmony and avoid rejection.

The Perfectionist: Ensures that everything runs smoothly, leaving no room for mistakes or criticism.

The Planner: Wants to check and think everything through in advance to avoid any surprises.

Exiles (The Vulnerable Parts)

Exiles are the most sensitive and often the youngest parts of ourselves. They carry the pain, trauma, fear or shame of unpleasant experiences from the past (often from childhood).

Isolated: Because their pain is so overwhelming, the Managers lock them away in a figurative dungeon.

Feelings: They often feel lonely, worthless, afraid or as though they are not good enough.

Triggers: If a Balling is triggered and the pain threatens to surface, the protectors spring into action immediately.

Firefighters (Reactive Protectors)

When a Balling is triggered despite the Managers’ efforts and emotional pain surfaces, the fire brigade springs into action. Their aim is to provide immediate distraction and pain relief. They react impulsively and do not consider the long-term consequences.

Addictions: Alcohol, drugs, gambling or binge eating to numb the pain.

Distraction: Spending hours aimlessly scrolling through social media, playing video games or binge-watching.

Dissociation: Mentally ‘switching off’ completely or becoming numb.

Outbursts of anger: Using extreme anger as a shield to hide underlying vulnerability.

The Conductor: The Self

The Self is not a part of you, but your essence or true nature. It is the inner guide that cannot be damaged by trauma. When you are ‘in your Self’, you experience the 8 Cs:

Compassion,

Calmness,

Clarity,

Curiosity,

Self-confidence (Confidence),

Courage,

Connectedness,

Creativity.

The aim of IFS therapy is not to eliminate the Protectors or Firefighters, but to listen to them with compassion (from the Self), so that the Exiles can be freed from their heavy emotional burdens.

Want to experience for yourself what’s going on inside you and how you can regain control of your Self?

Book an appointment where we’ll map out your different parts and engage in dialogue with “them”. You may recognise elements from NLP sub-personality work, systemic work, voice dialogue and many other approaches – and you’d be right. What makes this approach special is that, as your coach, I’ll help you connect with the conductor (Self) so that “you” are back in the driver’s seat, calling the shots.

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Without referral

Compensation possible